Officialese

Standing on platform 1 at Flinders Street Station this evening, I heard the worst bit of pompous bureaucratic verbiage ever to be launched through a public address system.

"Due to operational reasons, the 5.20 train to Greensborough is soon to depart.  Please stand clear when the doors begin to close."

The time was 5.18 and counting.  The train was due to depart because -- assuming it left the platform at the appointed hour -- it was running to schedule.  Operational reasons go hang: the train was due to depart because passengers diligently consulting the timetable, paying optimistic attention to the display on the concourse, and observing the clock on the platform (more in hope than expectation?!) were all well informed of when the train was going to start rolling.

I think it's back to school for that customer service operative.